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Too Many Drinks

29 Oct

Oof. I should know better than to listen to friends when it comes to certain subjects. These subjects would include (but not be limited to): who I should date, whether I should eat Thai food (story for another time), and especially- how much I should drink.

Let Exhibit A (actually, over the years it’s gotta be up to Exhibit X or Y by now) be the other night. After another disastrous relationship (that lasted all of two and a half weeks) with a charming young man named Christopher who unfortunately has a foot fetish that goes past “fetish” and into “obsession”, I had to go out and have some drinks.

This was the kind of night where your friends need to go, “I know you’re in your 30s now and every relationship you attempt seems to be either a practical joke set up by an omnipotent being or your own subconscious method of self-punishment, but take it easy and stay optimistic.” Instead, I got, “Yeah, men suck…screw them! Have another drink!”

So, I had another. And another. You know how you reach that threshold when you’re drinking where another drink seems very easy to have and you have already stopped listening to the reason of your own conscience? Yeah, I passed that mark at about 10:30pm. Not. Good.

If I can give my besties credit for one thing, it’s that they at least didn’t let me go home with “Albert”, who I apparently was hanging all over near the end of the night and exchanging pleasantries with. Knowing that I dodged that apparent bullet the next day was nice, even if it didn’t exactly fix my thudding headache or recurring need to kneel before my toilet. Still, hey, I dodged a long-term relationship with foot “fetish”-but-really-obsession guy, so “go me”, right? Let’s stay positive here, right?

My Crazy Friends and Their Crazy Problems

24 Oct

Like a lot of women of all ages, I have a core group of friends along with a much larger group of friends that I’m not as close with. Let me tell you about the diverse group of ladies that I affectionately refer to as my “besties”.

First, there’s Sophia. Sophia is the oldest one of us (if I told you how old, she’d kill me, but let’s just say a few years older than me, wink wink), but she hasn’t dated a guy over 25 for as long as I can remember. We always say, “Sophia’s boyfriends: we keep getting older, but they stay the same age,” ha ha.

There’s also Jamie, who is the only one of us currently in a long-term relationship. She’s dating this guy who is cool enough, but is really into gaming. I mean like, he has a “man cave” with game posters on the wall and he has like a half dozen gaming systems. Jamie is always complaining about him, but I’m pretty sure he does the same thing when she’s not around. That’s how you survive a long-term relationship, I figure.

Then, there’s Carlita. She’s the sensible one of the group. Don’t get me wrong, she has her moods, too, but in general she’s the one that talks the rest of us down from the proverbial ledge or gives us the sage advice that we need. She’s good at seeing things from different perspectives, which I can only do occasionally (and when I’m not angry).

Now, my friends are very individual from one another, and they all have their strengths and weaknesses, like we all do. They may be a little quirky and at times downright embarrassing, but where I come from loyalty is a big deal. I’m loyal to my besties just like they are loyal to me, and at the end of the day that’s what matters. The world sometimes seems like it wants to stab you in the back, so you have to have people in your life you can trust…even if they’re a little crazy!